Journal Prompts for Mom Grief
Before I started journaling, I don’t think I had even begun to process my grief.
I lost my mom to colon cancer in 2010. It feels like yesterday and a lifetime all at once. There are times throughout the year that I find myself feeling really lonely; Mother’s Day, the anniversary of her death, her birthday, holidays. It feels particularly obvious that you don’t have a mom during the moments dedicated to people being with their moms. The older I get, the more convinced I am that there will always be times when I just… want my mom. And that’s OK! I’ve learned in the almost 11 years since losing her that fighting those feelings of grief only makes the grief worse. It’s like that quote - the only way out is through.
I love to journal. In the weeks before my mom died I would lay on the floor of my childhood bedroom writing in a tattered composition notebook. I would write things I loved about my mom, memories, and realizations about the process of losing her. Witnessing somebody die is a mindfuck. I was in college at the time so that idea of spending any extra time writing quickly detracted from my habit, but I rediscovered journaling a few months before my wedding as a way to process her absence in such a pivotal life event. I don’t think that, before intentionally taking time to pause, I had really understood the depth and complexity of my grief. Journaling has helped me explore my feelings. It’s also helped me get to know my mom in new, different ways. It’s a powerful way for me to practice mindfulness, reflection, and self-care.
Before Mother’s Day this year, I was searching for prompts that specifically pertained to mom loss, and everything that I found was just so… sad. I’ve spent (and will spend) so much time being sad over the fact that my mom is dead. I don’t need a journal prompt to draw it out of me. What I miss most about my mom (and what I think most people who’ve lost a loved one will tell you) is the little things; the way she fluffed her bangs in the morning, the stack of CD’s in her car, the sound of her talking to my aunts in the kitchen. I wanted to celebrate the core of her, her essence if you will. Rather than another journal session diving into all of the things I wish I could say to her, I wanted to feel joyful. I wanted to remember her in a happy way, rather than the constant pounding of grief and longing for someone I can’t see.
These are the prompts. You could use them if you’re part of the #DeadMomClub, but also if you have a fractured relationship with your mom, your mom is in declining health, you just miss her, or anything in between. I hope these prompts enable to you reflect on the positive parts of your relationship with your maternal figure and all of her personal nuances and quirks.
And if nobody has told you yet - you’re allowed to find joy in the sadness, too.
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