Try Giving Yourself 10 Compliments A Day And See What Happens
Last week I launched a new, fun thing for you to do every week on the internet with a bunch of strangers; the Donuts + Down Dog weekly challenge, or #DDWeeklyChallenge if you’re feeling millennial. My vision for these challenges is to sneak a little more wellness into your daily life. These challenges won’t take too much time, I will rarely (if ever) ask you to spend a penny, and they absolutely shouldn’t be anything that you get stressed about. I want them to be things that make you feel better, but don’t add much to your plate. They are challenges that you should look forward to and shouldn’t feel bad AT ALL if you need to skip. You’re busy. It’s OK. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
The first challenge that I launched was to give yourself 10 compliments a day. Because, really, when is the last time that you consciously were nice to yourself? I’ve noticed in talking to my female friends and through my year of mindfulness that most of us aren’y particularly nice to ourselves. As high-achievers, we tend to give ourselves a lot of feedback, goals, and stress. As I started to examine my own thought patterns, I discovered that I was quick to reprimand myself for not doing something good enough, but rarely gave myself a mental high-five when I had crushed something. Even when I put on a pair of jeans that hand’t quite fit right in years, rather than saying “FUCK YEAH SEXY LADY LOOK AT YOU ROCKING THESE JEANS”, I was like, “meh, you look ok. Could probably look better tho, tbh.”
I once read a quote that said something along the lines of:
You have never been so mean to somebody that they ended up being your friend. The same works for your relationship with your body and with yourself. You can’t hate yourself into liking yourself or your body. That’s not how it works.
This hit me like a hangover after pretending I still have beer pong skills. I was being so mean to myself, but had this overarching brand of be nice to yourself! Practice yoga! Be mindful! I knew that something had to change. So I started dedicating part of my journal practice to writing a few compliments to myself each day. When I did a good job at something; at work, rocked a workout, did something nice for a friend, etc., I made a point of calling myself out mentally. It didn’t completely kill of my anxiety (if you ever figure out how to do that, holler at ya girl!!), but it did make me stress less. It made me be kinder to myself. Rather than speaking to myself like I was fucking Voldemort, I started talking to myself like I would talk to a friend.
When I originally posted this challenge on Instagram, a lot of very amazing women reached out and told me they couldn’t think of 10 nice things to say about themselves. It broke my heart. I got a lot of messages along the lines of “I can’t even do one day, how will I be able to do this for a whole week?” Ladies. LADIES. You are 100% deserving of compliments. Come up with alllll the compliments. Don’t feel bad about it. Don’t be shy. If you need help, I can already think of 20 nice things to say about you and we might not even know each other. You can do this.
So, I challenge you to compliment yourself 10 times a day for the next few days. Write it in a journal, whisper it to yourself in the shower, or look yourself in the eyes while sporting a bold lip and proclaim your glory. Make a point of doing it every day that you remember. You can repeat the compliments if you want to. Get sassy with those compliments. None of this “my hair looks crap. I want you saying things like “I HAVE THE HAIR OF A MODERN DAY MOTHERFUCKING RAPUNZEL.” You feel me?
Watch what happens.
You are a beautiful goddess who is really great at reading and has awesome taste in blogs,